Gunrod the Barbarian: A GameLit LitRPG Fantasy Read online

  Ernest spoke slowly, thinking things through out loud. “Well, as a starting point … I’m convinced the angel really was what it said it was. I mean —”

  “Oh, yes!” Elvina said fervently, “I never doubted it. That angel was the most real thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “Exactly,” Ernest said. “I know exactly what you mean.”

  Ian sighed. “I know what you mean, too. The angel seemed real … startlingly real. So I almost feel guilty about casting doubt on it, you know, because I felt a profound sense of reverence and all that sort of thing.”

  “Yes!” Elvina said.

  “But there are so many questions.” He threw up his arms. “For instance, the fact that the angel had us choose character classes, as if we were starting an RPG game. Where does that fit in with angels?”

  “Not to mention the text,” Ernest added.

  “Text?” Ian and Elvina looked at him in surprise.

  “Yeah. Text. Didn’t you see it?”

  Elvina shook her head. “I just looked at the characters and somehow understood everything about them. I just sort of knew by intuition.”

  “Yes, it was like that for me too,” Ian said. “But I had to concentrate a fair bit. It was sort of like when you’re trying to remember something you’ve forgotten.”

  Ernest told them about how he’d willed a character description to appear by thinking about it. As he was talking, the text appeared again. With a small mental effort, he was also able to bring up his stats. This was the information he saw:

  Soon all three of them had figured out how to see their character descriptions and stats.

  Here are the stats that Ian and Elvina saw, respectively:

  Ian reeled off his description. “‘Specializes in channeling magic energy to cast a wide variety of spells.’ I can deal damage but also do some healing. That’s partly why I chose it.”

  They were quiet for a moment, all thinking about the same thing: they might need healing.

  “Oh no!” Elvina suddenly exclaimed, putting her hands over her mouth and looking at Ernest as though something horrible had happened.

  “What?” he said.

  “Aslan is all alone in my apartment.” Aslan was her Persian Cat.

  “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

  “But what if we’re gone a long time? He won’t have anything to eat.”

  “I’m sure your parents will feed him when they notice you’re missing.”

  “My parents! Oh my God, they’re going to think I fell into a chasm and died! They’ll be out searching for us on the moor.” She pictured her mother and father walking the lonely moor day after day, calling her name. How terrible!

  “Yeah,” Ian said thoughtfully. “My parents and sisters will be out there, too.” He fell silent and stared at the ground.

  “Well, we don’t know how long we’ll be here,” Ernest said. “We might be back in a week. Or maybe this place isn’t on the same time as Earth. You know, we could spend a whole lifetime here and then go back to Tavyton and find it’s still the same night we camped out. Do you know what I mean? It’s like that episode of Star Trek when Picard goes—”

  “Of course it’s easy for you to be flippant about it, isn’t it?” Ian interrupted testily.

  Ernest looked at him in surprise. “I … didn’t mean to be flippant. Alright, I’m sorry —”

  “No,” Ian threw up his arms. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re right; we don’t know how long we’ll be here. We really don’t even have the slightest idea what this is all about, to be honest.”

  “Well, I mean, we have some idea,” Elvina said.

  Ian sighed. “This is what I was trying to say earlier. How shall I put this …” He ran a hand through his hair and scratched his head. “The fact that this is like a video game adds a whole other dimension of oddness to this.”

  “Yeah,” Ernest said. “It weirded me out when I saw the text. I can’t make any sense of it, to be honest.”

  “Well, what if we actually are in a game — I mean, what if this is a simulation?”

  “I don’t believe that,” Elvina said. “I mean, look at this.” She waved an arm at the valley. “If this is a simulation, there’s no particular reason to think our whole lives aren’t a simulation … and I can’t think that. It would drive me bonkers.”

  “I agree,” Ernest said. “I don’t think it’s a simulation.” He paused, frowning. “If it comes down to it, I suppose I could doubt everything … But that’s why I said the angel is my starting point. That was a real angel. Seeing it was absolutely life-changing for me. And I don’t think anyone who saw it would disbelieve it. I suppose my point is that it gives me faith that everything else is real.”

  “Me too!” Elvina said.

  “Alright then,” Ian put in. “We’re agreed; this is real. But the video game stuff is awfully odd.”

  “It is,” Ernest said, feeling his right bicep again. “And I have no explanation for it. But we’ll likely find out more when we get to the gate. Speaking of which, we should get moving soon. The sun’s past midpoint in the sky.”

  “Hang on,” Elvina said. “The angel said we already knew evil was afoot, remember?”

  “Yes. It did say that. And?”

  “So, I was right — and your dream was right. The Institute is evil!”

  “You think the angel was talking about the Cube?”

  Elvina threw up her arms. “Well obviously! What else could it have been talking about?”

  Ernest shrugged. “Yes, I suppose it was. Well, there’s some comfort in that, isn’t there? This thing we’re involved in is much bigger than us. And … and it concerns us personally in some way — Or at least, it concerns Tavyton. But we can talk about it later. I really think we should get moving. But first I want to know what class you chose, Elvina.”

  A little smile appeared on her face. “I’m a Bard,” she said with a hint of pride. But Ernest and Ian exchanged a haughty glance, and Elvina could see that they thought the Bard class was dumb, for whatever reason. She looked slightly crestfallen. “Is … is that good? It was the one I was meant to choose.”

  Ah! So, Bard had been recommended for Elvina. That actually made sense; she was very musical. Elvina grew up across the street from Ernest, and he always remembered how she was constantly singing as a little girl. His mother once raved about Elvina’s rendition of Ave Maria at a school concert. Ernest wasn’t particularly impressed at the time, though. Truth be told, he found her annoying when they were kids; she was a few years younger, and she’d always follow him and Ian around.

  Later, when they were teenagers, she grew on him a bit; Elvina read fantasy novels and was interested in European prehistory, so they had that in common. However, just before Ernest left Tavyton for university, Elvina told him she liked him. It was a bit awkward because Ernest had never thought of her that way. She was too plain, he thought.

  So his response was: “Sorry, you’re not really my type.” It might have been a bit blunt because Elvina didn’t talk to him for years after that.

  They’d reconnected a year before this story began, running into each other at the Tavyton library. Elvina had become quite the scholar, doing a Master’s in Indo-European languages. She also wasn’t bad looking, in a hipster librarian sort of way (still not really his type). Neither of them was living in Tavyton at the time, but they kept in touch online over the intervening year.

  “I have some special abilities,” Elvina was saying. She looked up at them earnestly, tucking a wayward strand of her auburn hair behind her ear. “I can understand other languages, for example. Like, if we come across a gnome or something, I should be able to talk to it.” She giggled at the absurdity of it.

  “That’s extremely useful,” Ian said, evidently pleased.

  “Okay! Enough talk,” Ernest said. “Let’s go.” He started walking. Elvina followed.

  “Hang on!” Ian said, walking behind them. “The angel said it would be dange
rous, and we don’t even have weapons or armor. We need a strategy.”

  “Well, I’m in the front,” Ernest said, still walking. “Which is good, right? Because I’m the tank.” He held up an arm and flexed.

  Elvina rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, you guys, this isn’t a video game.”

  “No, but we might do well to treat it like one,” Ian said. “This world may be real, but it seems to be governed by something like video game mechanics. Right, tank’s in the front. That’s good. I should probably stay here in the back, since, theoretically, I’m the main damage dealer … Problem is, it isn’t obvious how to use my magic. Elvina, do you have any fighting abilities?”

  “Well, I can learn magic songs that harm enemies.”

  “But you don’t know any now?”

  “No, but let me see. I also have —” She tripped and stumbled into Ernest’s back.

  “Probably shouldn’t read our character info while walking down the mountain,” Ian said, chuckling.

  After a brief pause, they established that Elvina did have melee fighting abilities. More importantly, they realized that a range of potential musical abilities could make her very powerful as she leveled. She could charm beasts, birds, fish, trees and even the wind and water, with her music; she could make enemies fall asleep or put them into a state of confusion; she could also counter hostile spells or magical attacks; she could give allies boosts in courage and morale.

  But her character sheet was vague about her starting abilities. “The Language ability is pretty straightforward. But for the others it just says ‘Enchanted Melodies’ and ‘Song of Sirens.’ It doesn’t tell me how they work,” she said.

  Ian nodded. “It’s the same for me. It says I have ‘Fire’ and ‘Heal,’ but doesn’t explain what they are or how to use them. I tried to sort of ‘select’ them, but that doesn’t work. Apparently the game system … or whatever it is, doesn’t just hand us things; we’re going to have to work for it. I’d suggest you start singing, Elvina. See if you can unlock some abilities. I’ll try to summon some magic.”

  They walked on for a while without talking, eventually coming to a narrow trail. It took them down a steep descent for about 45 minutes, until the path finally leveled out.

  The pleasant sound of a small waterfall greeted them as they came upon a large alcove in the rockface. The waterfall gushed over a jagged outcropping high above, sparkling in the sunshine and coursing in front of the alcove. It fell into a pool surrounded by moss and a few small trees.

  Elvina wandered off the trail, humming softly and looking up at the waterfall.

  “Hey, where are you going?” Ian said.

  “It’s pretty. Can’t we rest here for a minute?”

  “Alright,” Ernest said. “A short stop to catch our breath.” Then, turning to Ian: “We’re going to need food and water soon. If we don’t find an inn or something, we’ll have to forage or hunt … Maybe we should —”

  Elvina let out a little scream. “What the … eww! Oh, my God, you guys…”

  She was standing beside one of the trees, struggling with something. The two men hurried towards her and saw that she had been caught in an enormous, dewy web that extended from the rock face to the tree. It was easy to see if you were looking at it, but Elvina had been focused on the waterfall and the sparkling pool. At the bottom corner of the web, where it met the rock face, Ernest glimpsed the familiar sight of carcasses cocooned in web, except they were the size of animals.

  “Grab her sweatshirt — careful not to touch the web,” Ernest said.

  Elvina was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. They tugged at the sweatshirt, but she was quite stuck.

  Ernest suddenly had the distinct feeling of someone watching him from behind. Turning his head, he saw something black and hairy emerging out of a hole in the rocks.

  A memory flashed into his mind: the time he looked at a spider under a microscope and felt a little thrill of horror. This time it was a big thrill of horror. The thing must have been the size of a kitchen table. Two bulbous eyes with little black pupils looked at him unblinkingly. A long multi-jointed leg, curling high above the eyes, slowly moved forward.

  “Oh no,” he said, getting angry. “I hate spiders!”

  The head moved farther out of the dark hole and into the sunlight, revealing another smaller set of eyes behind the big ones; those eyes also seemed to be watching them. Behind the second set was yet another pair of eyes; these pointed upwards and sideways. Two black appendages extended from the sides of its head and moved around furiously in front of its face. The whole thing was covered in wiry fur that looked like the sticky hair inside an old man’s nose. Beneath the eyes, two massive fangs curved in front of a hole that made smacking noises as it opened and closed.

  The thing emerged from its hiding place and nimbly moved over the rocks. It was appallingly fast. Ernest let out a cry of disgust. He looked around for some weapon and picked up a boulder that probably weighed 80 pounds, lifting it above his head.

  The spider slowed its pace slightly as it neared Ernest, who was standing several paces in front of Elvina and Ian. He brought the boulder down; but the creature moved backwards, and the boulder landed with a thud in front of it.

  Ernest bent down and reached for a smaller rock. The horrible eyes watched his movements with discernment as the appendages continued flailing and the fangs opened and closed.

  As Ernest stared at it, a text appeared and then faded from his vision.

  Common Mountain Spider

  Level 2

  Health 180/180

  He didn’t stop to read it. He didn’t care what it said. He was consumed with outrage over the fact that this ugly monstrosity would try to eat him and his friends. All he knew was that he wanted to kill it. He pitched the rock as hard as he could, hitting it on the head. A red -4 floated momentarily above the spider.

  “That’s it?” he growled, looking around for a stick or something. The creature was coming towards him again. Ernest reached into his pocket and grabbed his keys, making a fist with his car key sticking out between his fingers. That would have to do. He stepped forward and, without even thinking, screamed. It was a rocky, coarse battle cry from deep in his throat.

  The spider stopped and adopted a more defensive posture as Ernest lunged towards it, punching his right fist into its glassy, bubble-like eye. At the same time, the spider stabbed his thigh with its fangs, taking four points in damage. This made Ernest even more furious. Something inside him snapped; all his pain and fear disappeared in a frenzy of animal rage.

  He punched the same eye several times more, puncturing the filmy outer layer until his fist and forearm were covered in a watery substance. A succession of -6 red damage notifications flashed before him as he savaged the eye, not intending to stop until he got to its brain.

  But he suddenly felt woozy and staggered backwards. Someone caught his back and held him firmly, keeping him on his feet. For a second Ernest thought it was Ian, but then he realized the spider’s appendages had curled around him and were pushing him towards the hooked fangs, which were furiously opening and closing.

  Revolted, Ernest leaned back and pushed with his legs as if it were a tug o’ war, but this only dragged the giant spider along with him. He stopped, but it continued moving, lunging towards him and plunging its fangs into his thigh again.

  As this was going on, Ian had been trying to help Elvina break free, finally yelling: “Take the sweatshirt off! Just take it off!” With a struggle, Elvina managed to squirm herself free.

  After this, the two of them desperately tried to figure out how to cast a spell. They scanned their character sheets again, hoping they’d missed something the first time.

  Ian tried to focus and think. He somehow felt he already knew the way to cast a spell, he just had to … what? Remember? A fey feeling suddenly came over him. He was hyper aware of the rocks, the dirt, the trees … he could feel an energy crackling through everything. He was close … but then Ernest g
rowled in pain. There was no time to figure things out now.

  Ernest was screaming wildly and pummeling the creature’s eyes again. Its fangs were stuck in his thigh, blood coursing down his leg. Elvina was crying and throwing rocks. Ian tried to pick up the boulder Ernest had flung at the spider, but he only hurt his back in the effort. He threw some rocks, inflicting minor damage, and then found a decent stick. With a slight mental effort, he saw that the spider’s health bar was depleted by roughly one-third.

  Ian smashed at the spider’s legs with his stick while Ernest attacked its other large eye, turning it into a watery mess. Then he moved on to the smaller eye on the right, punching and slashing.

  The fangs retracted and Ernest extricated himself, but the appendages still pressed him from behind. He grabbed one in a kind of headlock position and spun his body in a swift, powerful motion. With a cracking sound, the appendage came out of its socket and writhed around in Ernest’s arm. He dropped it and stumbled back, his head spinning.

  The spider now had a crumpled, agitated look, as if a giant newspaper had swatted it.

  “Circle it,” Ernest said, breathlessly. “We’ll try to back it into the water.” He moved to look for the boulder but tumbled onto his hands and knees. His head was swimming and the pain in his leg had become intense.

  “You’re draining HP,” Ian said. “You’ve probably been poisoned.”

  Ernest saw his health bar: 19/140. Too close for comfort. Elvina screamed again. Ernest looked up and saw her throwing stones as hard as she could. His health bar ticked down to 18/140 as it faded from view. Ernest got to his feet, reinvigorated by a bout of rage. He picked up the boulder and lifted it above his head.

  Perhaps the spider couldn’t see him approaching, with so many of its eyes destroyed. But the boulder came down on the top of its ugly head, cracking the exoskeleton and pinning it to the ground. Eight legs moved around, struggling to lift it up, but the weight was too heavy. Its health was 34/180 and slowly draining.